July 21, 2014

heeeey MY dear everyone.

this week was a good one, it had all the emotions in it! 

we saw a lot of miracles!!

LISTEN HERE IS THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so remember last week how we went to the members house and we challenged them to a dinner and for them to find someone? WELL! all week... they couldn't find anyone. seriously, and sister metcalf is SO FAITHFUL! and she was talking to EVERYONE! random people literally anyone in her path she would start a conversation and lead to asking them and everyone said no. (side note, CAN YOU IMAGINE how many seeds she planted that would not have been planted if we didn't make this challenge?) anyway so on saturday she came with us to an appointment with some investigators, and it was a great lesson, (with tony and heather, man i love them, they are so awesome, they both want to believe it! he has read the BoM already all the way through and GOODNESS i just love them. it's just slow progress, ANYWAYS!) she testified so well and we felt the spirit and invited to baptism, etc!!! anyway after the lesson, she talked to us and expressed some doubt! she was scared and didn't think that they would be able to find anyone by the next day. we talked to her and were like... WHAT!! you remember that we literally promised you in Christ's name that he would get you someone, right? even if it is one minute before our dinner appt. you CANNOT DOUBT!!! he cannot break his promises. and she was like... you're right... that would be quite shocking. haha! (mind you, she is so faithful. one day on her mission her doctor told her she had to lie still all day cause she had something happen in her stomach and he said if she moved she could potentially die..... and she stayed in for a couple hours and then thought, ya know what my stake president blessed me that if i was exactly obedient i wouldn't have to miss a single day.... so then she got up and they went out!! and she was fine!!! ISN'T THAT COOL??) anyway wow i have a lot of side notes in this long paragraph. SO! long story short. but not really short. 

NEXT DAY! we go... and they have a couple :) TURNS OUT their neighbors are the ones they thought of first but the husband was out of town, or so they thought!! the DAY OF THEY SAW THE HUSBAND AND WERE LIKE OMY GOSH!!! they are home!!! and invited them, unfortunately... they had just eaten dinner... perfect cop out right? FORTUNATELY THEY STILL SAID BUT WE CAN COME AND JUST HANG OUT WITH YOU ALL!!!! and they even knew we would be there!!! so cool. man, AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was great too, we talked about eternal marriage, etc, it was just a good day :)

okay now because time is very short. i want to talk about hope for a second. 

this week, we saw a lot of miracles. we also saw a lot of sad things. 

the week before, we had a miracle story of finding a less active family, another less active lady, and a new investigator, all of these stories honestly SO COOL!!!! like the Lord absolutely did everything so that we could find them and teach them and have the spirit and get them to church and everything. man, experiences that are just SO spiritual. 

well... on sunday, most of these people either turned against us, or bailed out, etc. listen... i've told some stories that were my big heartbreaks of the mission, about people i love and adore, etc, that turned away and i couldn't express the honestly huge amount of sorrow that flooded my spirit. if anyone asks me the hardest experiences of my life, i am not lying when i say that it is when these people i love shut us and the church out. or reject what i know they felt the spirit about, and once wanted. it is SO HARD. and yesterday, when it happened again and so many things fell through after so many miracles... i was just put out for a minute. i was so sad, and so confused and WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING. i was praying and just asking heavenly father WHY do you keep sending me these amazing experiences and people KNOWING MY HEART IS GOING TO BREAK! haha but i wasn't mad or anything at him, don't worry. anyway so i prayed to just understand, and he didn't give me an answer he just told me to study hope. 

so i started studying, and listen everyone.

sometimes we lose hope, we lose hope in other people, we lose hope in ourselves and our own lives, we lose hope in humanity, or in the gospel or even just we lose hope in God. there are so many things we can lose hope in, and be confused about. 

as i studied hope, i focused on how we usually don't understand.... honestly, usually God has us going through trials and things without knowing why, without understanding what is happening, because like we all know, he wants us to be faithful and trust him. 

i don't really know where i am going with this all, haha! but ALL I CAN TELL YOU is that i prayed, i studied hope, and i felt better. i STILL AM SAD! but i feel better at the same time. people still have their agency and i think that is one of the hardest lessons that i am learning, hna perez talked to me about that during comp study and it hit me hard! I think heavenly father is teaching me, that there will be so many times when i do my very best, when i DO everything i could've done, and they still fall away. I think he teaches us this, because we blame ourselves a lot, and we can't do that. He is the perfect father, and his children fall away from him all the time. because he respects their agency, though it is the HARDEST thing i am sure he does, he knows it is important. and he is teaching us how important agency is as well. through these experiences. we have to feel a piece of what he feels, a piece of what Jesus Christ feels, and know that sorrow, and allow it to make us work harder. we can't get discouraged whatever we do.

whatever situation you are in, if you have something that your hope is dim in. Pray for help. just know that there is hope, when everything is crazy and you don't understand just go back to the basic principle of truth that keeps all of us above the water. Jesus Christ. When you don't know what else to do, just have faith in him. when there are no answers and you are scared or discouraged, just have faith in him. just trust in him just have any amount of hope in him that you can muster. I know that he loves us, and he is powerful and he knows how to help each of us. those we worry about and ourselves included. he knows what we need, so just have hope when nothing makes sense. He can help us in any situation.

I LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do :) 

hasta luego :)

listen there are a BILLION pictures from the batting cages but i will spare you and only send a few... hahahaha SOO FUUUUN!!!

Got my game face on!!

my best Babe Ruth imitation